Or Watch Me Die


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Huge THANK YOU to American Android and her Historical Fiction Contest! Congratulations to the winners and their stories.

First place was California Kat, The Marks Within. This story blew me away with the time frame and the emotional feel. Go read this if you haven’t!

Second place was idream3223 with Some Things Change. Another powerhouse author with an exceptional time travel story that is a must read.

Third place was divine_nimbus with Divine Providence. I really enjoyed her piece as well and look forward to reading her. I am always pleasantly surprised when I get to enjoy a new-to-me author and a fabulous story.

Please get over to the Historical Fanfiction Contest and read all the other authors and their amazing stories.

Now onto my submission…

Disclaimer: Charlaine Harris, Alan Ball and True Blood own it all…except my thoughts on how to change it ALL! No copyright infringement intended.

*Spoiler Alert for all True Blood seasons. Some names have been changed to fit the SVM cannon because…I liked them better.*

San Francisco early 1900’s.

Eric Northman had been following Pam Ravenscroft all evening. Attempting to fight the pull of his blood to the young audacious blonde and make her his child. Bill Compton attacks Pam as she sneaks back into an estate in the early morning hours. Will Eric watch her die?


V’’V *** V’’V


The voyage was a never ending hell. Blue skies and calm Atlantic seas mocked Pamela Ravenscroft’s inner turmoil. In a months’ time she would meet the gentleman her father proclaimed would be her husband for the first time.

Pamela had never contemplated her own death as a solution to her problems. Even now, as she looked over the white metal hand railing of the ocean liner to the deep indigo depths below. She shuttered at her own dark thoughts. Pam was unafraid of death as long as she chose how she lived her days. That was what mattered most to her.

Charles Ravenscroft was a man of few words. His navy blues were the only gateway to alert Pam of her father’s emotions. His lack of even polite conversation with her on the weather was a dead giveaway that he was still cross with her.

What an understatement, she had been caught in less than her Sunday finest with another young lady from her sewing circle and a male servant in her bedchamber. The scandal was whispered about throughout the mansion, until her father heard it. Outrage would be the word to describe his demeanor.

Did her father accept that she was attracted to men and women? No. However, Charles Ravenscroft did feel that his daughter would be best served by a match far away from the gossip in London. And arrangements had been made.

Sighing in exasperation, Pam knew this extended excursion to the Americas, then across the large continent to California would be grueling.

And it was.

Six days aboard the RMS Umbria they sailed away from her homeland in London toward the mystical city, aptly named New York. Pam was eager for the travel, desperate for some excitement. Something different. No forced ladies tea, no gossiping between endless needlework and rounds of cards.

The jaunt was a rare glimpse into a life Pam knew she would never be allowed to live. The freedom to travel. Clenching her jaw, she tried in vain once more to swallow her bitter tonic that fate had handed her.

After arriving in New York, the journey would require an additional three weeks by train before finally arriving on the cool, sandy shores of the San Francisco bay in California. A state that Pam understood from talking with various fellow travelers as the Wild West. Filled with riches and fame.

Never one to suffer fools. The fantasy seemed nice, but Pam knew better than to trust the ravings of dreamers. She considered herself a realist, which was why it was so difficult to accept her impending destiny as a wife and someday mother.

A wasted life is what she feared. Pam supposed she should have felt guilty. After all, most young women of nineteen would jump at the chance to be married off to a wealthy businessman in an exotic, foreign land. One day to gleefully bear his children and find love within the bounds of matrimony.

Not her.

Her tastes favored both sexes, not something most buttoned up, white collar businessmen, and soon to be husbands were accustomed to accept from their wives. The human body was a mystery and to Pam’s way of thinking, she was being limited to be with only one man for the rest of her life.

Bloody hell.

Meeting her forty eight year old, husband to be had been a shock. Though Pam was aware of the details on paper, the first meeting with Benjamin Dropbottom had been a bitter moment. She scoffed again at his ridiculous name, and then had to hold back her tears. That would soon be her title.

Pamela Dropbottom.

He was distinguished enough, she assumed. Salt and pepper hair was styled short and parted painstakingly down the middle of his hairline. Green-grey eyes that to Pam seemed to have had the life sucked out, leaving a thin strip of color and a large black pupil as evidence of his former self.

Benjamin Dropbottom had been married twice before, to women who never made it past the birthing bed of his first children. His detached behavior at their first meeting and constant glancing at his gold pocket watch was almost enough to make Pam feel self-conscience. Or scream like a banshee, lucky for her, she had far too much confidence for that.

This was going to be a long life, if they lived like polite neighbors. Waiting on edge for the other shoe to drop.

If only she had been more discreet in her affairs. Pam had it on good authority that many a man, married or single. Practiced the same dalliances in their private lives and none were banished. On the other hand, Pam was a high born woman participating in activities considered lower than her station.

In her father’s eyes, Pam had spread shame to the Ravenscroft name.

Well, fuck that.

Pam supposed she loved her father. Truly, Charles did assist in giving her life and keeping her draped in luxury. The finest silk dresses and feathered hats. Accessories and jewelry. With everything she had been given by her father, Pam did not know him.

Moreover, it seemed to her that he preferred it that technique.

Either way, Pam was confident this would be the last meeting she would have with her father. He was due back home to tend to his business. The trip would take another month Charles Ravenscroft to return to London, depending on the weather.

While attending a formal party with her fiancé, at his rolling estate. Pam was introduced to his lovely sister, Sabrina. The two women had hit it off quickly, laughing and talking in low voices as cocktails and deals were discussed among the men.

Completely ignored by everyone, including her father. They made plans to see each other later that evening. They were to meet in a secluded alleyway just outside the estate walls. Sabrina had been Pam’s mirror image here in America. The lady was far better about not getting caught.

Approaching the estate in the early morning hours, Pam was elated. The local brothel that Sabrina had suggested was a perfect rendezvous. No one paid the two women any attention and their affair allowed Pam the short respite to be herself.




Pam could not wait to meet with her new paramour again the following night. Every stich of Pam’s skin tingled as she remembered how her experienced lover pleasured her. She was eager to learn more and was sure that Sabrina would be a willing teacher.

She grinned into the foggy alley, thinking that the haze was the perfect cover back over the grounds.

Close to the garden wall, Pam snapped out of her thoughts to focus on getting through the secret passage without ripping or dirtying her clothes.

She felt the waxy leaves of the hanging ivy that thickly covered the broken iron fence. Allowing her to slip into the gardens unnoticed. If Pam was discovered sneaking back inside, she planned to claim thankfulness at being found. After all, she was known to wonder and taking a midnight stroll through the manicured garden would not be out of the ordinary.

A glass bottle at the end of the alley rolled along the cobblestones before breaking with a loud crash.

Startled at the sounds, Pam pulled away from her leafy darkness to see the cause of the movement. Golden lamp lights were at either ends of the alley. Giving her enough light to see the silhouette of a man moving toward her through the mist.

His shape was predatory, stalking Pam in a determined fashion.

Pam raised an eyebrow to the gent in the semi-darkness.

“May I help you?” Be it policeman or Good Samaritan. Pam knew her secret could be blown this unexpected encounter. She needed to ward off the lad and quick.

“Pardon me,” he spoke as he tilted his bowler hat to her. “It is rather late for a lady to be out alone.” The man had an accent she could not readily place, it hugged his words over a thick tongue.


The hairs on her neck spiked, this was no man. This was something else. His face was pale, his eyes rimmed in red. And he looked…hungry.

She needed to leave before his appetite was peaked further.

“As you can see, I have made it home. Safe and sound. My father is waiting upon my arrival. Good evening.” Pam turned away grabbing the plants again to push them aside. Before she could take a step, the stranger gripped her upper arms. Pulling her back into the alleyway and slamming her against a crumbling brick wall.

“Safe would have been not to be caught by me. Now, you are mine.” His brown eyes burned bright with desperation. They almost glowed against the dreary night around them. Pam gasped when the stranger’s canines grow like stalactites from his gums.

He was a vampire.

But how can that be?

Vampires were a myth. Something to scare children.

She hoped.

Attempting to free herself and run from the monster, she thrashed against his vice like hold. He wrapped his hand around her throat pressed her tightly against the wall. Making an escape impossible.

Tangling his other gloved hand in her curly hair, he growled when she cried out. Moving her head to the side the vampire bared more of her neck from the thick lace of her dress.

Pam was shocked. Of all the ways her night would have ended, or how her life would end. This scenario had not even made it on her list. She sent a silent prayer that it would be over quickly and squeezed her eyes shut.

A gust of wind startled her and she was thrust from the monster hold to the ground. Pam cried out once more in the shock of it all. She fell against the cobblestone of the alley and watched the whirlwind of activity before her.

A much taller, considerable more handsome man was holding the dark haired vampire effortlessly by his throat. Who struggled against the large grip with both hands. He snarled kicking his legs wildly and demanding to be released.

“Vampires.” Pam breathes out into the salty night.

The fetching man toke a moment to look away from his catch to look at Pam, then winked a playful blue eye at her. That one remarkable gesture gave her a moment to inhale and collect herself. Before she could think to ask anything more of her rescuer, he spoke.

“I have followed in your wake of blood for too long. You try my patience William Compton, where is your whore of a maker?” His voice was powerful, a soothing command to Pam’s ears.

“I am my own. She control me no longer.” The shorter vampire responds. His body wiggled like a worm on a hook. From the look of the handsome vampire’s grasp, her molester was going nowhere.

Thank God.


“Oh, what a pity for you. Goodbye, Mr. Compton.” His other hand joined at Mr. Compton’s neck and Pam would swear she could hear, bone and cartilage slowly pulling apart as his victim screamed in agony.

“No! Please, Eric. Stop, I beg of you!” A pretty female appeared from thin air. Her hair in a high chignon, her dress of a fine pink silk. All matching clutch, shoes and feathered accessories.

Pam rolled her eyes. New money.

“He’s new. I did not know we were hunting in your territory. We will just be on our way, if it pleases you.” The woman lowed her head deeply in deference to Eric.

Bill growled.

“Hush, William.” She snapped from her submissive stance.

“I am not afraid of him!” Mr. Compton said in a deep rumble.

“You should be.” The vampire Eric turned his gaze back to William. “Now put your baby fangs away before you piss me off.”

A moment or two more of the growling ensued before his fangs disappeared. Eric lowered William to the ground with a shove. Laughing when the vampire puffed up his chest. Lorena pressed her palm to William’s chest, keeping him in place with little effort.

“Thank you Eric.” She bowed again. “We will leave before the dawn.”

“You better get him under control, Roman is calling for both your heads. Also, you owe the lady an apology.” Eric whispered on a hiss.

“I understand. He will learn.” The small framed woman, vampire turned to Pam then, acknowledging her for the first time. “We are sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused.”

Pam nodded, then looked away. She was not scared, more confused about what to do or how to respond politely without rousing their anger.

“William, come!” She decreed. William postures toward Eric once again, who does nothing more laughs at the beta male attempt to dominate his Alpha.

“Move along precious, your maker calls.” Eric flicked his fingers toward Lorena, shooing away the newborn with a bored look.

“William!” Lorena scream whispered.

The dark haired vampire huffed and then they were gone.

Departed from Pam’s life as quickly as they had appeared. She exhaled the breath she had been holding, utterly relieved that she had survived. Hard to believe that in the last five minutes she had learned that Vampires were real.

She started to shake uncontrollably, the adrenaline catching up with her as Pam tried to slow her breathing.

Eric gazed at Pam curiously, tilting his head to the side like an inquisitive predator.

“You are unafraid. That is refreshing.” Eric spoke, stepping forward and offering his hand.

True Blood - Sangre Fresca 5x02 - Authority Always Wins - Eric y Pam

She took it gladly. This being saved her from certain death when he could have harmed her. Pam felt that she could trust this creature. “Not much can catch me off balance.” Pam spoke to Eric as if he were an old friend. Remembering her manors she looked him in the eye and added, “Thank you, Sir. I believe you have saved my life.”

He nodded, a small smile on his lips. “Eric Northman.” Ignoring her words of thanks, he brought her gloved hand to his lips and laid a gentle kiss. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss?”

Pam smiled. “Pamela Ravenscroft.” She gave a slight curtsey. “I am in your debt Mr. Northman, how can I ever repay you?”

Eric took another step closer to Pam, looking her over thoroughly. Her eyes wide but unafraid as he scanned her face and neck. His nostrils flared wide, his sapphire eyes landed on the base of her jugular.

Did he also want her blood?

Well of course, the myths were true. Vampires did indeed need blood to survive.

“I was following you. Watching you with your lover. Unusual for a lady of your rank to be so bold. Sneaking away from her dear family’s estate in the middle of the night.” Eric added a tut, tut, tut.

Pam thrust her chin forward in defiance. “My father as deemed me damaged goods and is anxious to unload his burden. I am to be married to a man more than twice my age and beneath my intellect because I have shamed my father with my liaisons.”

Inhaling the cool night air she choose her next words wisely. Not that Mr. Northman looked offended, on the contrary. He seemed amused at her defiance. “I saw an opportunity before my husband locks me away to a life of babies and boredom. I took it.”

“I see,” Eric chuckled. “And what if I told you, Miss Ravenscroft. That I could offer you a different path. A life without limits and possibilities. A life that would allow you to be who you are without apology. Could you be my companion and walk the Earth with me?”

“I do not wish to lay with only men, as you could tell this evening by following me. Would this bother you?”

“Why would it. I greatly enjoy the fairer sex. Vampires are not overly concerned about who you are bedding.” Eric finished with a bright white smile.

“Alright, I believe you.” She paused a moment. “Why me?”

Eric’s brows knitted together and thought a moment before responding. “After a millennia I have finally felt the pull to make a child. I believe you to be worthy of my bloodline. You have a strong will, unlike anything I have seen in a long time.” Eric was happy. His blood was singing in his veins that this woman was his child-to-be. After centuries of searching, he had found her.

Just as Godric had found him. Eric was elated.

“You would make me-like you?” Pam looked Eric over. From his fine suit and leather shoes. Up to his handsome, chiseled face and jet black bowler hat. “Vampire.”

Eric nodded. “Yes. I have seen the world in this form for a millennia. But we shall explore it anew through your new eyes.”

If he was serious that meant no more hiding who she was. Free of the fate she thought worse than death. To be able live her own adventure.

The very thought of being a vampire brought a peaceful calm and an exuberance running through her. And to share those experiences with Eric, Mr. Northman. Clearly an older vampire who could protect her against any unknowns was encouraging.

“I accept.” When Pam wanted something, she dove in head first. Always had. And now, with the gift of eternal life, she always would.

Eric grinned wide, the smile lighting up his soulful eyes. His fangs bared in the golden lamp light made Pam smile in return.

She belonged with him. To him. As his, what did he say, child? Yes, this felt right.

Her father, her brother, her friend.

Pam lost all propriety, allowing her curiosity grab hold as she stepped toward Eric to view the magnificent twin canines he grinned with. She touched her own mouth in wonder. What would they feel like? She traced her white silk glove over her gums.

Her eyes locked on his fangs when she finally asked. “Will I have-.”

“Fangs. Oh yes, beautiful weapons to match such a striking woman.” Eric answered.

“Thank you, Mr. Northman.” Pam was grateful for the compliment. Relieved that Eric did not see her as merely a feather in hot cap. Or she hoped. Pam got the impression that Eric was acting on an instinct he could not deny. “What do we need to do next?”

Mr. Northman looked to the ivy that held the cursed estate of her fiancé beyond. “Please call me Eric. Are you positive that you do not want to alert your family or your intended to your whereabouts?” Eric asked, only slightly concerned that a woman such as her would be missed. Despite a looming marriage, family always looked for their missing loved ones.

“Eric, I am but a commodity to my father. A business deal he needed to broker. I will be missed for the prosperity he could have achieved by leaving me here in this unfamiliar land. My mother has been long gone, and I cannot think of a single soul I will miss. Not even my one-time lover.” Pam said matter-of-factly.

“Fair enough. Come with me, we shall retire somewhere more private.” Extending his arm, Pam grasped his elbow and beamed up into the face of her future.

Just before they reached the alley, away from the ivy wall and the estate that would have been Pam’s prison. Another rush of wind blew by her right side.

Eric snarled and grabbed Bill by his neck once more. A clattering sound echoed off the brick walls. Pam felt lightheaded and stumbled back from Eric’s side. Bill Compton had stabbed her through the torso.

“You dare to end my new child!” Eric roared in Bill’s face. His eyes wide in fear. Bill must have believed he could have killed Pam and gotten away before Eric was able to do anything about it.

Pam started to shake, the weather had taken a turn into more frigid temperatures. Or maybe it was just her. Her eyelids felt heavy.

A woman’s voice was pleading to Eric’s mercy. “Please Eric, No!” Lorena shouted and fell to her knees.

Eric had ripped the head of William Compton who then turned into a red sludge disaster on the cobblestone. Pam started laughing at what the street sweepers would think of the mess. She must have been hysterical even though she was calm on the inside.

Eric moved to Pam and picked her up as if she weighed nothing.

“Hold tight Pam, the pain will be over soon.” Eric lulled her.

“I will kill you Eric, you ended my William! I will have vengeance!” Lorena threatened.

“You are spared this night by grace alone. Never cross my path again.” Eric seethed before turning his attention back to Pam. “Just a short trip, it will be cold.”

“I-I am cold, n-n-now.” Pam shuttered as she tried to speak clearly. Why was it so difficult?

Eric kissed her head and then the night brushed like ice across her cheeks. Her dress whipped in the strong draft as she fought to keep her eyes opened. They were flying.

Well, Eric was flying and she was along for the ride. Pam was sure she would have enjoyed this immensely had it not been for the pain in her body.

The stars were bright in the velvet black sky and they seemed to be closer than Pam had ever seen them before. Perfect twinkling lights that stayed ever vigilant over her. Were they looking on now she wondered?

“Almost there.” Eric yelled over the high wind. She turned her head to see a darkened stretch of forest, filled with a large pond and what she had recently learned were called Redwood trees. Tall and thick of trunk, the leaves were much higher than other trees she knew in London.

Eric landed with a soft step and did his best not to disrupt her as he laid Pam down on the wet grass. “I will give you a vampire life, but first I will take your human one. It will be but a moment and then I will feed you my blood. We will lie here under the Earth for three nights and you will rise my beloved vampire child. Are you ready?”

“Will it hurt?” Pam could not feel much right now, but she was not eager for more pain.

Eric smiled and caressed her jaw with his large hand. “Not the way I do it.”

And bit into her neck.


V’’V *** V’’V


(A/N): I hope you enjoyed that.

What I hated about True Blood’s version of Eric turning Pam is that it was never his intent. Eric is forced to create a child because he admires Pam? Silly. To me, Pam “forcing” him to turn her reinforces TB’s Pam into a permanent childish attitude that clouds over her sparkling personality.

I like my version better. I believe it holds true of the partnership and familial bonds these two have. What do you think?


22 thoughts on “Or Watch Me Die

  1. I like your version better too. Loved the back story. Hers was a better fate than others ( old husband instead of asylum). Still. And smiled at Bill’s early demise. So easy to hate that character ! Noticed you used it to get around seduction part of turning. I play with the idea – the pull. Appreciate it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I plan to continue this little tale. I think it would be fun to see the evolution of Eric and Pam. I think they were quite sexual but mostly a brother/sister partnership. Most likely they shared donors between them. That could be fun. The pull is what was important. Thank you for reviewing! Love your work!


  2. As I said in the other review I prefer your version…
    Now I’ll be waiting anxiously for more of this!
    I would love to know more about Eric/Pam background story!
    ( The one TB gave us was so damn terrible ! )
    Congratulations for your nomination onYWBA!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It was amazing being nominated with so many incredible authors. I defintly plan on continuing this. Eric and Pam have a maker/child bond that makes others very envious, including all the creators. I always wondered why TB had them break the bond. It was pointless, they had vampire break bonds with their children all over the place. It sucked and was untrue in my view. Why would a vampire break a bond. Lorena wouldn’t. Godric didn’t. But Bill, Pam and Eric do? No way! 🙂 I better stop and get off my soapbox. Thanks again for the review!


  3. i almost dodged this story when i was reading the lineup. i saw the title and the time/place and all i could see was selfish TB pam slitting her wrists in her brothel. but you managed to weave in her svm backstory just enough to fit the encounter in san fran. it was impressive. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Why thank you! I wanted Pam to be believable and likeable. Not that I don’t adore Pam, I do! But TB version was downright whiney. No one wants that. I get why you might shy away from this, I hope that when I pick up more chapters that you will return to the dynamic duo! 🙂


        1. Yes, I would have changed her. She was lazy, unrepentant. It spoke nothing of being careful, manipulating vampires. It seemed that they reacted to things that happened instead of controlling outcomes behind the scenes. I’m talking about Eric, but you would think Pam would be on board. Make life less dull and they can orchestrate their lives. But what do I know I am just a ff writer. 😉


  4. i did enjoy this story and your take of Pam;s turning, i like it much better than her being from a brothel, it took away from her character as Lorena was the whore before being turned not Pam. KY

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I liked this so much better than how True Blood showed it. Such a shame you won’t continue tis. I think it would make a great new story of some of Eric and Pam’s history. Thank you for posting it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reviewing. Truly it makes me take a second look and see if I can find more there. I can. I will be adding more to their adventures. I hope sometime in the next couple of weeks. I am updating my current stories and yes, starting another one! I’m a mad woman. 😉


  6. This is more like the canon version of her turning. And better than what TB did to be sure. Plus you give us a bonus and “kill Bill”. what a treat. Look forward to seeing you add to this.

    Liked by 1 person

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